Walking Forward

So Christmas happened. It has come and gone for another year. It will be another eleven months before we start buying presents, planning menus and decorating the tree again.

I won't say too much about what my Christmas was like, other than that it was full. My stocking was full. My belly was full. My life was full of people that love me and I love back. My mind and ears were full with visiting and conversation. Christmas was full of all things that come along with holidays and family. The good and the bad.

A few weeks ago I was nervous for the holidays. Worried that I would be missing those people no longer in my life, or at least what those people represented. Worried that I would feel alone and lost. As with most things in life, those worries were unnecessary. I can't say that those feelings didn't surface at all. They were there. They were acknowledged. And then I kept walking forward.

I saw myself becoming more confident and more comfortable with myself. I didn't pretend to be anyone different - insecurities, anxieties and all. I knew I just had to do the best I could. I think that resulted in me being more "me" than I remember in any previous years.

So now I'm home. I've spent the evening unpacking, washing my new dishes and planning my grocery list based on the new cookbooks. I keep walking forward.